


Dr. Murderstab and the New World Order

by quaelegit (quae_bookmarks)



Category: Original Work
Genre: Gen, Nominative Determinism, written for wasywapose
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-24
Updated: 2020-08-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:41:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 468
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26074327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quae_bookmarks/pseuds/quaelegit
Summary: For thewebcomicsreview quick writing challenge 8/21/2020.Prompt: "Claiming to be reformed, the criminal mad scientist Dr. Murderstab has invited the world’s leaders to the mysterious Skull-Shaped Peninsula to discuss a radical new plan for world peace, but one presidential aide thinks that Murderstab might not be as reformed as they claim"
Kudos: 7





	Dr. Murderstab and the New World Order

He’d once been the terror of the globe, but now Dr. Murderstab was going to unite the world in the name of peace and intellectual property reform. Many had been dubious at first, but his impassioned pleas for creative freedom and enterprise, not to mention his well-funded and effective advocacy network that he had somehow built overnight from his syndicate of evil minions, did a lot to sway the public perception. And his diplomatic envoys (not to mention greased palms and with perhaps a little bit of old-fashioned hostage threatening on the side) had caught the interest of business and political leaders the world over. Now said leaders were convening for a summit on Skull-Shaped Island, the isolated tropical headquarters of Murderstab’s NGO, to birth the new world order.

Gordon Lee, deputy communications director, was one of the few remaining suspicious holdouts, but no one asked him. His job was just to write the speeches prettying up the political decisions after they’d been made.

“Still,” Gordon mused to himself as he dallied on the pavilion outside the secondary conference hall, enjoying the refreshing afternoon breeze that had sprung up and provided a refreshing reprieve from the island’s typically tropical mugginess, “doesn’t anyone else wonder what inspired Murderstab’s about face?”

“It’s MOO-erder-stahb, old German name, you know – proud family tradition,” a voice beside him corrected, pronouncing the _oo_ with the precise-but-not-accurate enthusiasm of someone who’d read about umlauts on Wikipedia. “I let it go during my evil phase because it really helped my image, but the -stab is actually from the root word ‘steiben’ meaning ‘to scatter.’”

Gordon startled – he hadn’t heard the evil mastermind approach. “Good afternoon, Doctor,” he greeted politely.

“You’re surprised because you and everybody else just saw the havoc and destruction I caused. But what I really loved was the creation of my marvelous inventions, and getting to share them with everyone – to scatter them throughout the world, if you’ll pardon the joke,” Murderstab continued. “No one has the time to properly appreciate your genius when they’re running for their life! Plus the collaboration and revenue opportunities are so much better when people want to work with you rather than shoot you on sight.”

He tapped the folder he was carrying under one arm proudly. “But here, I have the future. The best ideas I could come up with, all properly checked over and explained and cross-checked my minions — er, I mean my organization — to bring about the best change possible! It will be the start of true human flourishing!”

He wiped a tear from his eye.

“Or really, it would work beautifully, but unfortunately I have to live up to my name. There’s still the ‘murder-‘ part” said Dr. Murderstab, pulling the switch to release his swarm of Stabinator 9000 killbots across the island.


End file.
